The Shattered and the Searching
by Eroket
Summary: Disgraced, wandering for redemption, Syan Ravenshadow is drawn to his old city, a land he betrayed, encountering ghosts of his past, bringing up agonizing memories


The Silence, The Searching and the Shadows  
Based on my Rping character Syan Ravenshadow:  
Additional info  
Syan Ravenshadow- Disgraced and exiled traveler  
Kalis Ravenshadow- Syan's wife  
Kargath Malkis- Wolverine ruler of the hordes  
Emperor Lorac- Emepror of the Haldrine empire. Syan's greatest friend Dusk light had turned the sapphire skies to evening flames, scorching the atmosphere and the heart of the solitary traveler.  
Haldrine's crown jewel once; the city of Jalthis was deserted, nobeast having lived there in over five years, the flames of war had all but subsided.  
Except for Syan Ravenshadow.  
Cloaked in robes of night, the fox leaned on his walking staff, a sigh escaping dry lips, torn and ragged footpaws limped raggedly over the stones, leaving a small trail of crimson in his wake.  
"I have to see." He whispered, his voice soft, filled with the dust of many travels, "What my actions have brought to my home.Lorac, my brother.what have I done?"  
Shaking his head and blinking to clear the droplets from his eyes, Syan Ravenshadow reached a paw, covered with brilliant gold fur to the door of the nearest house, opening it with a haunting creak.  
"I walk the earth.searching for a way I might find redemption for my betrayal.but I know nothing here.except the sadness and destruction my own eyes tell me.  
He was Syan Ravenshadow. And years ago, he had been Nightmaster.  
The same paw that pushed open the door was raised, palm up to stare at the symbol long ago etched in.  
***  
"Nightmaster Syan Ravenshadow.you have been named; Do you accept your appointment?"  
The young fox nodded his golden head, crimson eyes shining in eagerness as he stretched his paw forward. "I accept."  
The tall gold fox, with brilliant fur-but not as brilliant as the young protégé in front of him-nodded to the nearest fox who held a dagger, the cross hilt carved to resemble a fox with rubies for eyes, in the flames. When the blade was judged to have withstood the fires, the fox pulled it out and handed it to his leader.  
The fox took it with a single nod of acknowledgment, he took Syan's wrist.  
"I give you the mark, syan Ravenshadow.to symbolize your steadfast devotion to the Mother and the Haldrine empire."  
The blade came down and blinding pain filled Syan's mind as the blade slowly traced the symbol across his pal; A full moon, a rune in the center. Syan could have cried out and wrenched his paw away, could have sank to his knees in torment. He did none of these. The power SHOULD be his! He needs to endure.He NEEDS the power and respect that will come from his endurance, Syan Ravenshadow grits his fangs against his lip, a trickle of sanguine fluids running down his chin.  
At last, at what seems like an eternity, the paw is released and Syan stares at the symbol. The fox who had been his tormenter moments ago kneels, extending the ceremonial dagger hilt first. "My lord."  
  
Second only to Emperor.he was Nightmaster at last.  
  
He was Nightmaster.  
***  
  
Nightmaster.  
  
The Syan of the present shuddered at the memory, memories that sprang at neither want nor request, memories that tormented him.  
"There's nothing for me, here.Lorac, forgive me.why do I come? Why?"  
He didn't know. How could he? He had felt his home's irresistible pull to him and was powerless to resist. His eyes flicked across his home and what he saw took his breath away.  
Syan Ravenshadow: brother of brothers. I commend the people of Jalthis to your care, O Nightmaster.  
Emperor Lorac of Haldrine.  
Syan Ravenshadow sat upon his old bed, staring at the parchment.  
And for the first time in many years, Syan Ravenshadow wept.  
***  
He was an old warrior, reclining on his large throne that was great even for a great red fox of his size, his face lined with age beyond his years, his great sword sheathed at his side.  
"you came, Syan, my friend."  
His gaze was upon the kneeling Syan at the feet of the raised platform the throne had been raised upon. "How could I refuse when your voice beckons me, my emperor? My dearest of brothers."  
Emperor Lorac smiled, nodding to Prince Gadrath who stood at the side of the throne room. "My son, leave us for a time.we have matters not to be overheard by anybeast."  
The prince bowed to his father before walking outside, beckoning the guards to follow him.  
When the room was empty except for the two royal foxes. Lorac sighed  
"The Warsong are on the move."  
The Warsong.the most feared branch of the savage Alkathrans, the conquerors of the north, savage wolverines all, fighter from the tip of their nose to their great fangs. They had become especially aggressive against their longtime Haldrine enemies with their bold new Warchief; Kagrath Malkis, son of the celebrated Kurgath Nightgazer who had died years ago in service to a powerful warlord. Kaagrath rose to power in bloody tribal strife that left hundreds of corpses in his wake.  
Now he was setting his greedy eyes on Haldrine.  
"Those barbarians?" Scorn laced Syan Ravenshadow's voice. "They are little more then savages.they lack even the slightest power to overthrow Haldrine, Emepror Lorac.send out Akaz or Inultus.their armies or navies would be sufficient."  
"No, syan." The emperor shook his head. "both of those two are occupied with preparations.scouts report if the Alkathrans do move upon Haldrine, Jalthis will be their first target.I wish to commend the city to you, Brother."  
Syan's crimson eyes widened, meeting his emperor's emerald ones, "Milord?  
He nodded calmly once. "I feel your responsibility will benefit us greatly.I commend many lives to you, Syan Ravenshadow, brother of brothers. Do not fail my trust."  
Syan Ravenshadow bowed, belwilderment shining in crimson eyes as he gathered his black robes and left the throne room  
***  
Coward.selfish.murderer.betrayer.  
"Leave me alone!" He cried to the darkness through his tears, eyes searching the darkness. "I try to make amends for what I have done, I try every day! Stop haunting me."  
Will that bring back the hundreds who died for your folly? The way you betrayed your home and everything you loved and held dear? Not everything can be redeemed, little Ravenshadow.  
"I never meant.I never wanted it to happen."  
The life of one you loved dearly.you saw her slain by Kargath.you could have fought.bought time for the reinforcements.you know what you did, Syan ravenshadow.you know your folly! You know how we curse your name!  
Syan Ravenshadow knew all too well.  
***  
He lay by his wife's side, golden fur shining in the moonlight from the open window, crimson eyes closed in sleep.  
"Lord Ravenshadow!"  
The desperate cry woke both him and his wife, syan's body groaned in protest as he was forced into wakefulness. "Stay at the door." He hissed as the knob began to turn The guard obeyed as Syan pulled himself reluctantly from Jalis's arms, giving a look of apology. "Forgive me, Jalis." The whisper escaped his lips as she wrapped the blanket tightly around her bare figure. Syan withdrew his black robes, dressing himself quickly as he walked out, closing the door quickly. ***  
  
You know FULL well what happened that night.  
  
"My guards were on Kargath's pay.they got me out and tried to kill me.I survived the attempt on my life.Jalis."  
Tears dripped to the bed sheets where he and Jalis had spent their last night nearly six years ago.  
She was taken.she died bravely, refusing to betray you.it's a shame you didn't have the same courage.  
Syan nodded, the memory mentally torturing him. Jalis had died, she had died quickly with a single stroke of Kargath's blade. It had been done in front of the city where the huge red wolverine had made his terms clear: Surrender or suffer the same fate  
"Don't torture me with this anymore."  
The barest outline of a fox sneered with spectral lips at the golden fox.  
"Oh no? Perhaps you'd like your memory refreshed."  
Horror raced through Syan. "No.please."  
The specter was pitiless, though. "Many women asked their Alkathran captors that.many times it was refused.  
The scene Syan Ravenshadow sometimes saw in his most haunting nightmares appeared before his eyes.  
***  
Kargath Malkis strode into Jathlis, the huge, lithe red body glistening with scars and rippling with muscles, fangs and claws shining with the same sheen as did the huge scimitar at the wolverine's side.  
Cries filled the streets as the wolverine and his guard strode into the city, cries of horror and dismay that faded as Syan Ravenshadow strode forth to meet him: The killer of his wife.  
Definace etched every inch of his face and crimson eyes, Kargath watched politely as the gleaming sword of the Nightmaster was unsheathed, fangs beared in a feral grin, the black armored wolverine strode forward.  
He did not draw his sword.  
Syan raised the sword.  
.and knelt to one knee, the blade extended to Kargath hilt first, the tip resting on his heart as he bowed his head.  
Sobs could be heard from the houses as wolverines filled the streets, a thin smile appearing on Kargath's lip as Syan whispered.  
"My lord."  
Kurgath took the sword, grinning, nodding to his guards. "Captain Trathgar.your men can take the city as their leisure.beasts aren't to be harmed as we agreed." His fangs bared in a feral grin at the kneeling Syan ravenshadow. "Your men can take their pleasure as they want though.but post troops ready for the reinforcements.tonight, we celebrate the first steps to the taking of Haldrine!"  
Through the cheering throngs of the mighty wolverines were the screams and cries of those of the doomed city.  
And the cursing of the name of Syan Ravenshadow  
***  
Syan Ravenshadow sat upon the bed, paws brushing a locket in the shape of a snowflake: His wedding gift to Jalis.  
"Coward.Selfish.Traitor!"  
"Leave me alone.please."  
"Leave the dead in peace.you've done enough to us already, Ravenshadow."  
The crimson eyes filled with tears again. "I'm sorry."  
The specter laughed. "Too late for that."  
"I.I gave the information that won the war.when Kargath fell."  
"Too little, too late."  
"I've tried to hard to make amends."  
"You can't."  
"Are you real? Or just a product of my guilt sent to torture me?"  
No response. "Jalis believes you'll redeem your life, Syan.she hangs fast to that."  
The response gave him hope. "Jalis? She.she believes in me still?"  
To the abject shock of many of us, yes."  
Syan stood, tears removed from his eyes. "I've found nothing here, specter.I'm still alone, still lost."  
"You always will be, syan Ravenshadow."  
"I know." He whispered.  
"Is there a message you'd like to give your wife, Syan Ravenshadow?"  
Syan nodded. "I love her."  
"she knows that already, ravenshadow."  
"I'll gain my life back some way.tell her when I see her again it will be in honor and not as the wretched coward I was."  
"Good choice of words, Ravenshadow.farewell.never return here or your greeting will not be as pleasant."  
It was gone. He didn't know where.  
He stood and walked to the doorway.  
Still searching, still lost, Syan Ravenshadow walked out of the city of Jalthis.  
Hope. Honor. Remeption.  
They seemed alien to him now.  
He'd find them. He'd find them if he had to search forever, to be welcomed to Jalis's arms once more as he had when they first met seventeen years ago.  
In that search maybe, he'd be redeemed. 


End file.
